My new copy of Word 2004 crashes several times a day. I know what you're thinking: "But Ren, you're probably abusing that poor word processor. It's tough, but it's not that tough." And you're right. These unfortunate lapses in stability occur when I'm making power-user moves like adding bullets. Or when I'm going balls-to-the-wall by saving a document. So Microsoft apologists relax - I understand that this is not normal wear-and-tear.

However, I do like to process words on occasion, so I set out to see how the other power-users are handling it. After googling "mac os-x office-2004 crashes," I found an official Microsoft website that looked promising. I click, and I see under a section called "Additional Features:"

Error Reporting
Automatically generate and send an error report to Microsoft for analysis if an Office 2004 application crashes.

What?

How is this a "feature" at all, let alone a feature that makes it onto the short, meant-to-be-sexy product description? That's like putting "Automaticly notifies Ford of passenger death" on the sticker of a new Focus. Or assuring someone that you'll listen to them complain once you're finished slapping the shit out of them. Unless it's a covert way to warn people off of this crapware, that is not a feature, Mr. Gates.